What does a normal relationship with eating look like?

From food tracking apps, dietary guidelines, social media “experts” and even the people around us, there’s no shortage of information telling us what we should be eating for our health.  

However, we could have a diet that ticks off all the nutrients we need, but is it really best for our mental, social and emotional wellbeing if we’re feeling deprived or unsatisfied by what we’re eating, or not eating?

Restrictive diets and being bombarded with nutrition information all the time prevents us from having a normal relationship with food and eating. It can also leave us feeling overwhelmed, stressed and anxious about what to eat.

So, what is a normal relationship with food and eating?

Ellyn Satter, renowned dietitian and therapist, has spent her career contributing to the understanding of eating behaviours and relationship with food across all ages. Her approach emphasises a balanced and respectful approach to eating, promoting healthy habits and positive relationships with food.

Ellyn Satter describes normal or natural eating as:

1. Going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied.
2. Being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it - not just stop eating because you think you should.
3. Being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food.
4. Giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good.
5. Eating mostly three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way.
6. Being able to leave some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful.
7. Overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be undereating at times and wishing you had more.
8. Trusting your body.
9. Taking up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life.
10. Flexible: it varies in response to your hunger, your schedule, your proximity to food and your feelings.

These principles may look foreign to many people and you may be wondering how you can implement some of these in your life. Intuitive eating is an approach which can help support people to move towards natural or normal eating.

Intuitive eating involves:

• Listening to your hunger and fullness cues as a guide for when to start and stop eating
• Eating without food rules such as strict portion sizes, the timing of your meals or labelling and restricting certain foods as “bad”
• Being inclusive of all foods
• Eating in response to taste and preference
• Eating mindfully by paying attention to your food and eating without distractions
• Becoming aware of internal or external cues which influence our food choices

Intuitive eating has been extensively researched and shown to be linked to many physical and mental health benefits. In fact, the clearest positive benefits of intuitive eating is for our mental wellbeing, showing it’s not just about the nutrients we eat to support our brain and mental health, but also how we eat. Intuitive eating has been linked with better self-esteem, body image, and better psychological wellbeing such as lower levels of depression. It can also reduce binge and comfort eating.

Intuitive eating is also a sustainable approach to eating. You can’t take a diet on a holiday, but intuitive eating skills can be with you for life. In one study comparing intuitive eating to a standard dieting approach found that although people in the diet group lost weight, both groups initially had similar improvements in metabolic fitness, activity levels, psychological measures, and eating behaviours. After two years, those in the dieting group had not only regained their weight but also lost the health improvements, while the intuitive eating group sustained their health improvements.

Intuitive eating isn’t always easy for people who have spent years dieting or following nutrition rules. It can also be much more difficult for people who are neurodivergent, and is not suitable for those in the initial stages of recovering from an eating disorder (but forms a key component of recovery when it’s appropriate). Getting the support of a dietitian to guide you towards a normal relationship with food is often needed. If you’re ready to learn more and get started with this approach, book a complimentary call to find out how I can support you.