How to stop ‘falling off the bandwagon’ and change your all or nothing mindset

By the time February rolls around each year, most of us who have set New Years resolutions have likely given up on them. The problem isn’t a lack of knowledge; most of us know what we ‘should’ and ‘shouldn’t’ be eating, but it’s our mindset that holds us back.

Jumping on and off the bandwagon, or having an all-or-nothing approach, is a common mindset barrier that many of my clients experience. The problem is that most people don’t realise that this is a barrier, as we think it’s a good thing to set high expectations for ourselves.

But unfortunately, it’s too difficult to meet these unrealistic expectations, and we end up blaming ourselves for a lack of motivation or willpower. We then feel stuck, because we believe everything we do must be done perfectly or not at all.

The solution is to get rid of the bandwagon and start creating a more balanced mindset! While it’s easier said than done, here are some tips to get you out of your all-or-nothing mindset.

Tip 1: Start low and slow

When the New Year comes around, many people set multiple unrealistic goals, they might say to themselves ‘this year I’m going to wake up at 6am, do meditation, go for a run, cook everything from scratch, go for a walk at lunchtime and stop scrolling through social media before bed’. And they might not have done any of these habits before!

The solution: start low and slow. Small, achievable habits may not give you quick results, but they are easier to stick to in the long-term, which is what we all want, right? Motivation is also strongly linked to self-efficacy, which is our belief in achieving something. If we set small goals and they feel more achievable, our motivation will also be higher.

Tip 2: Aim for progress not perfection

Let’s say you’ve got a social event and you know you’ll be drinking and eating more than normal. The event finishes and you did just that. Rather than beating yourself up about it, consider what progress you’ve made from the last time you were in the same situation. Think about the positive progress you made – did you drink more water? Fill up your plate with veggies? Drink less alcohol? Many people with an all-or-nothing attitude find it hard to see the positives, so try to find the small wins and celebrate your progress. 

Tip 3: Stop using Monday as a reset

When we’re on and off the bandwagon, many people use Monday as a day to start again. We can easily write the rest of the week off and tell ourselves we’ll be good to go next week. One of the many problems with this is that we feel a sense of dread when Monday comes around because once again it feels unattainable to reset all these big goals at the start of the week. Rather than telling yourself you'll wait until Monday, make a healthy choice as soon as you can, even if it is a small one like going for a short walk or adding more healthy foods into your next meal.

Tip 4: Stop labelling foods as good or bad

It’s common for people with all-or-nothing thinking to label foods as ‘good’ and ‘bad’, which also sets us up to fail. There are of course, nutritious and less nutritious foods, but labelling foods as ‘bad’ and restricting them from our day makes us want them more. Then, when we do have them, we feel as though we may as well give up, and eat more of it. It often comes with feelings of guilt and shame, which can make us turn to more of our forbidden foods to make us feel better.

Tip 5: Pay attention to how you feel

A key component of mindful eating is to think about how you feel after you’ve eaten. This can help you identify which foods make you feel light, energised and satisfied, and which ones make you feel sluggish, tired and bloated. Focusing on how you feel after eating can help guide and motivate you towards making healthier choices, as you’ll enjoy feeling good! It’s a great example of an intrinsic reward, which is a key component of maintaining habits in the long-term. 

It’s important to know that overcoming an all-or-nothing mindset can take a long time, especially if you’ve been stuck in this way of thinking for many years! These are just some of the tips I use when teaching my clients about creating a more balanced mindset a key component of my 1:1 gut and mood program. If you’re ready to stop dieting and improve your relationship with food, book a complimentary discovery call to find out more about how I can help you.